WHO can I SUE?

"My girl said I should sue my barber.
She's trippin like my edge aint fresh.
Do you think I can get waves?"

America has become a nation of sue happy people. There are dozens of websites and lawyer referral services that promise to hook up Americans with lawyers who will take their grievances to court. Hotlines are available 24/7 and some offer free consultations regarding whether you have a case worth fighting for. How preposterous has it gotten? People have sued McDonald's for not warning them that the coffee was hot. 


Who does Belvedere want to sue?

I wanna sue the very first boy who handed me a "do you like me yes or no" note. I checked yes and he knew he wasnt ready for a commitment. He missed 2 lunch dates and failed to give me his french fries on Friday. He caused so much emotional anguish I didnt ride my bike for 3 days...and then LeeJohn passed me a note and it was on to the next one.

I wanna sue DISNEY for selling me the dreams of fairy tales & making me believe everyone lives happily ever after. What Disney failed to consider was that people like Alicia Keys & Gabrielle Union will court your man & snatch him up while your relationship is vulnerable. Imagine if Snow White's Prince charming met Superhead on his way to save her with his magical kiss. Snow White would still be sleeping and Prince Charming would be laid out with his kids somewhere in a napkin.

I wanna sue Myspace Tom for allowing his social network to fall off so quickly. It is because of this that Facebook has become regular stomping grounds for coonery and ignant comments. When I signed up for Facebook, it was a place for college students around the country to connect. Then it was opened up to everyone 18 and older. Then it was opened up to EVERYONE. I experience emotional distress caused by logging on to see how Cocoa Itookyourman Jones is upset that Potpurri SmellsLikeStrawberries Brown wont stop playing on her phone.

Who does Southern Comfort want to sue?

I wanna sue the DC METRO for all the back-pay they owe me. No one warned me when I swiped my Smartrip Card at the Greenbelt Station heading to Friendship Heights that it would cost me the equivalent of a Junior Bacon Cheeseburger Value Meal from Wendy’s with a Chocolate Frosty on the side, just going one-way. Someone could have given me a heads up that I would constantly be late for work because some tourist decides to try the metro during rush hour and gets motion sickness causing the trains to be delayed, only to leave me stuck on the one train that doesn’t have AC, next to the person who wants to cough without covering their mouth, while trying to navigate a place to hold on to because Jonathan wants to lean his entire body on the pole while reading his Kindle.

I would also like to sue all HBCU’s for promising me a top of the line education from some of the most prestigious higher learning institutions in the land. What they failed to share was that the majority of the administration is made up of old frat brothas, relatives, and friends of the family, who lack the ability to change, have a good attitude, or answer the simplest of questions. They could have sent a letter or something informing me that I would never receive my financial aid on time; that phone calls, voicemails, and faxes don’t get answered or checked; or that the first person I go to that should be able to help me with my problem will most likely not be able to help me. I’m just saying…I may have at least applied to some other institutions as a back-up.

We're here to give the people what they want. If you could sue anyone who would you sue? Would you join with Belvedere and/or Southern Comfort in their cases?

Posted by Belvedere & Southern Comfort

Game Recognize Game: And you're lookin’ kinda unfamiliar right now

Defined: One person uses tricks or cons by twisting words and phrases to get what they want from another person, but the second person identifies the words as a trick or con, understands the deception and tells them they have been caught.

Ladies, why is it that men feel that because they played a little football or basketball back in high school or dabbled in intramural sports in college, that they are the only ones capable of recognizing a good game or solid athlete when they see one? Who do they think sat on the sidelines at every game, watching, cheering, eyeing the competition, and taking mental notes of the necessary changes to improve in the next game???

The best way to recognize game is to learn it. As a female, you should always keep one good guy friend on the team. This person will serve as your coach. He will teach you the game and all it’s in and outs. He’s the one person who will be honest and tell you when your game is a little off and what changes you need to make before becoming you're ready for your first real game. Your job is to observe and learn from the coach during his interaction with other players and coaches in order to become your own MVP.

Ladies, here are a few signs that your man is running game:

- When out on a date he is sending text messages the entire time
- He never answers the phone when you call; he always has to call you back
- The majority of you conversations are over text messages
- He can’t talk after a certain time
- You talk at the EXACT same time every night
- He won’t add you on Facebook or claims he doesn’t have one
- You’ve never actually met any of his friends
- You never go to his place, you always get a hotel
- He keeps his phone on vibrate
- He picks you up in a car that’s not his
- He only wants to go out on weekdays, even when he’s off on the weekends.

Gentleman, consider this the new game plan…here is a brief list of things you should avoid when attempting to run game on a seasoned female athlete.

- Drunk phone calls at 2am.
- Making googly eyes at another woman
- Leaving the house after midnight to run an errand
- Coming in 3 hours after all the clubs have closed
- Stepping out of the room to use your phone

These are just a few examples, but believe me there are so many more.

Feel free to pick up your controller and share your thoughts…Keep It Real Family.

Posted by: Southern Comfort

Where Is The Love???

I’m hoping that this ain’t too hard to believe,
Cause baby you’re the only one for me.

What happened to the thriving black communities we were raised in, where men and women stuck it out together (at least on surface appearance), while our new generations break up over facebook???

Is BLACK LOVE really so hard to find? After discussing this issue with a few of my girlfriends, I discovered that the answer to this question is YES. I’ll share with you a couple of their reasons as to why BLACK LOVE seems to elude their grasp.

The Call of Duty Sharp Shooter – These are the usual playboys always trying to run game. To them women are like a military mission, “operation booty call”, in which their only goal is to capture the flag (a.k.a. the draws in my Martin Voice). You know the ones ladies, their phones stay on vibrate and password protected, they have multiple facebook profiles, they refuse to allow you access to their email account, they always prefer a night in, and the list goes on. This is until you hit them with the X-Box Red Ring of Death and tell them that their mission has been compromised and that they should exit immediately.

Mr. Twinkle Toes

Guy:  What are you doing?
Girl:   Nothing, thinking about grabbing something to eat.
Guy:  Yea, I’m hungry too.
Girl:   Yea, I need to figure something out.
Guy:   ….Uh uh.

This is the dude that starts off as a good friend. He is professional, focused and has the swagger to match. You exchange emails, texts and a few phone calls, but nothing more. Why you ask…because he’s afraid to make a move. Fear of rejection maybe? Possibly, but if a woman is giving you every indication that she is hungry for your companionship, then why leave her fasting? These are the guys who tag along hoping that something will magically happen, instead of aligning themselves with someone who could possibly be their queen and declaring CHECK MATE.

Mr. A Little Too Late – We’ve all had one of these. The one who we loved more than a fat kid loves cake, but ended up breaking our hearts because he wasn’t ready for a true commitment. These are the guys who realize weeks or maybe even months later, that since they left you their stock has plummeted faster than the Cleveland Cavaliers without Lebron. They usually call or text randomly to gain insight into what’s going on in your life or to tell you how much they miss you and will do anything to get you back. Who wouldn’t want a man to grovel at their feet? But by this time you have already moved on mentally and emotionally. That door has been closed, locked and bolted.

These are just a few examples of why Black Love appears so elusive, but this is definitely a story that is to be continued.

Keep it Real Family…

Posted By: Southern Comfort

Miss In-DEPENDENT

She got her own house
She got her own car
Two jobs work hard
She a bad broad.

Why are we as women so quick to knock a man down for his inadequacies, when at the end of the day we are no good ourselves? Yes, this article will discuss the growing phenomenon that is “No Good Women.” This one is for the fellas.

How many times have you heard your girlfriends talk about how they wouldn’t even give a guy their number, if he didn’t meet the following qualifications: a good job (that requires a college degree), a car (that actually runs, with his name on the title), his own place (a basement apartment in his mama’s house with a private entrance does not qualify), etc. Well, the sad thing is, most of these women don’t even fit their own qualifications. It seems as if these women want a guy that can transform them into Miss Independent, because truth be told, they are dependent.

You know the chicks that claim to be Miss Independent, but stay calling their parents every other week to help them pay their bills. They don’t have a car or if they do they can’t drive it, because they don’t have the money to get it fixed. Or what about the ladies that stay shopping or going on needless online shopping sprees, but when it’s time to do anything worth something, they’re paralyzed broke. And whenever you ask them why they don’t have a job they want to claim they are focusing on school (but its summer boo-boo schools out, on to the next one). The chicks that are more obsessed with updating their lace front collection, than their resume.

It’s not just the monetary aspect that makes these women no good. No one wants a woman who curses like a sailor, club hops every week, is painted in tattoos, and dresses like she is the lead in a groupies 101 movie. What would make this type of woman attractive to anyone?

I’m just saying ladies, before you go judging men, maybe you should take a look in the mirror. A woman more obsessed with social networking sites, than building her own brand is not worth bringing home to mom’s. So ladies, stop focusing on what a man has or doesn’t have and solidify your independence. While it may be true that a good man is hard to fine, please believe me a good woman is not. (I have the BEAUTIFUL ladies of TWW to prove it)

So, like the song says…If you ain’t on, SIT DOWN.

Keep it real family.

Posted by: Southern Comfort

TWW Declares Comment Day!!!

Hello readers...take this day to comment on your favorite TWW posts. We will respond to your comments through out the day..Thanks for the support!!

Home Improvements

“He completes me.”

“He is my everything.”

“I don’t know what I would do without him.”

Why do so many women depend on the validation of a man to feel complete?? You can be independent in every other aspect of your life: top of your class, great job, your own place, nice car, sex and the city wardrobe, but without the seal of approval from your man, your life is incomplete. I think Kat Williams put it best when he said “it’s called SELF-esteem, it’s the esteem of your SELF you silly snitch.”

Happiness starts at home. So ladies, it’s time to clean house and make some much needed improvements. Let’s start at the top.

- Outside Looking In – stop thinking that every negative thing your friends tells you about your man or your relationship with your man is because their jealous. “They just want what I have.” “They don’t want to see me happy.” “What do they know, they are single.” NO, they are your FRIENDS. They were there before and will most likely be there after your man and your self-esteem are gone. Sometimes we get so caught up in our relationships that we fail to see the crazy/psychotic person we have become or our lack of the ability to use our common sense.
- For You I Will…- I’m not saying that change is a bad thing, but don’t allow yourself to give up your morals or standards to please a man. Because at the end of the day, that man most likely will not be willing to do the same for you. Please believe me…
- But I’m Different – Ladies, don’t think that you are this diamond in the ruff that will magically change a man (please refer to my previous article Brick House). If he left his previous girlfriend to be with you, don’t sit up on your pedestal and think that you are too good to have the same thing done to you. “Well, it’s just me, I’m not the person he needs me to be…” (STOP and seek help. You may be entering the first stages of denial/a domestic violence relationship).
- The Road Less Traveled - Please stop using what someone else has achieved to measure your progress. Just because Becky is 25, driving an all white Range, with a condo down town, does not imply that you are failure. Just because you are still in school working on your JD, living off of student loans, and shopping at Ross don’t make you a nobody. You don’t know what Becky may have had to do to get to where she is (her name might be Becky for a reason). As you climb the ladder of success, be sure it's leaning against the right building. Sometimes those minor detours seem to provide the most valuable lessons.
- It Takes Two – Ladies, don’t take it out on the female cause YOUR man cheated. You don’t know what sweet nothings he may have been whispering in baby girl ear to make her think that her love was a one in a million. It takes two to tango!! So, before you make a fool of yourself checking who you believe to be the “side chick,” you may want to check your man, because chances are that you may just be the “jump off”.

So ladies, if you can’t look yourself in the mirror and see the beauty that is woman, without the confirmation of a man, then maybe it’s time to take your house off the market for some much needed home improvements. A man should never complete you; he should only be a compliment to that which is beautiful, smart, happy, confident, independent and WOMAN!! If his name ain’t Jesus, then there is NO reason you should be changing who you are to meet his expectations.

And let the church say AMEN…

Keep It Real Family.

Posted by: Southern Comfort

Brick House

5 Bedrooms, 4.5 Baths

Huge Walk-In Closets

Fully Furnished

Wrap Around Deck
 2 Car Garage
Located in a Suburban Neighborhood


Sounds like the ideal house right, even if you’re ready to buy and sign on the dotted line, it means nothing if the seller isn’t ready to sell. No matter how much you paint, change or remodel the ins and outs of this home, at the end of the day it’s still a brick house.

Well, a brick house is kind of like a man. No matter how much you have to offer and no matter how much you’re willing to invest on improvements, if a man is not ready to settle down and welcome you into his castle, then you can’t force him.

Let me set-up the typical scenario: The Investment

You helped him through school- driving him to and from class, buying him food, cooking for him, helping him with his homework, being his academic counselor/advisor/tutor, etc.

You helped him get his job- motivating him before interviews, soliciting the prayer warriors, editing his resume, picking out his suit, helping him network.

You introduced him to the finer things in life- traveling, fine dining, lounges, clothing other than basketball shorts and t-shirts.

You introduced him to your family, helped him get his own place and decorate it, helped him organize his finance, and I could go on and on.

Finally, after all this, when you decide that it’s time to take things to the next level he decides that he is not ready for a serious relationship. This usually comes as a shock and requires you to play Beyoncé’s “Ring the Alarm” or “Irreplaceable”, but otherwise it’s on to the next one. A few months later you hear that he is getting married to this chick he met two days ago, who wouldn’t have given him the time of day before your investment accrued.

And why does it have to be like this you ask? He’s a MAN. I have learned that no matter how perfect you may be for a man, if he’s not ready to settle down and make you his queen, you can’t force him. When a man gets to that mature stage in his life, where he is ready to leave his single ways behind, whoever is there at that point in time, will usually get him. She doesn’t have to be the smartest or the prettiest, she just has to be there.

So ladies, no matter how much you try to change a BRICK HOUSE, at the end of the day it’s just that, a BRICK HOUSE. A man will settle down when he’s ready!! So, until that time don’t settle for less, and show that man what he missed when he passed over your bid. Hell, start finding some investors for your own personal mansion. LOL.


Keep it Real Family…

posted by Southern Comfort

Hood Rich: Champagne Dreams on a Shoestring Budget

 Got a quarter tank of gas 

In my new E Class

  But that’s alright

 Cause I’m gone shine

  Got everything

  In my mama name

    But I’m hood rich

   La-da-da

Translation (for those not so urban): Projecting an image of success or power that you really have not attained by showing off material goods such as cars or houses in an effort to impress those around you. Sacrificing things you NEED in order to afford/or at least look like you can afford the things you WANT.

Trust me when I tell you, that if you don’t know anyone in your life living HOOD RICH read a little further and partake in this family reunion.

Welfare Queens - These are the “professional mothers” who pump out kids in order to reap the public benefit that is, government assistance. You know the ones who depend on food stamps, Medicare/medicaide, child care placement and HUD (Section-8 housing) to provide for their families. You have probably seen these queens in the grocery store buying crab legs and shrimp, or maybe even trying to sell you their food stamps in exchange for cash-in-hand.

Child Support Fiends- You know the ones that come to court in their Forever 21 suits talking about how they are struggling just to make, when in actuality they are a welfare queen. They are the ones who are always talking about how no good their baby father is and stay posted at the mailbox to insure that they receive their child support check on time. “Well, it’s for the betterment of the child.” In some cases yes, but what about those individuals out there who stay with their nails and hair done, while their kids walk around looking like they came straight out of one of those Feed the Children commercials.

Diddy Boppin Reject- These are the brothers who are popping Rosé in the club, only to go home to an empty apartment with a mattress on the floor. You know the ones ladies, talk a big game about how he can do this for you and take you there, but this fool ain’t ever been out the state. The ones with the glass, wannabe diamond, necklaces that have to wait for their partner to get off work before they can go anywhere. The one with the nice car that he can’t park at his house because the repo man is lurking.

While some people may read this and think “how can people live like this?” Don’t get it twisted, living hood rich is an art. And for those of you who are still confused as to whether you are living hood rich, here are a couple of signs.

How to know if you are living HOOD RICH:

1. You throw your child a 1st birthday party that looks more like an adult cookout with liquor, ribs, dominos and spades. Your child just started teething; he ain’t biting into any half rack of ribs.

2. You car payment is more than your rent.

3. You take out student loans, not to pay for tuition, but to put speakers in your new car.

4. Your new lace front wig is paid for, but your babies Christmas is on lay-a-way.

5. All your bills are in the kids names. Let’s be real, their credit is better than yours.

These are only a few examples. Please feel free to share your thoughts.

Keep it Real Family,

Disclaimer: While this article does discuss the hood rich lifestyle of a few individuals I have run into during my years here on earth, it is not an encompassing view of women or men receiving public assistance or child support.

Posted by Southern Comfort