I’m hoping that this ain’t too hard to believe,
Cause baby you’re the only one for me.
What happened to the thriving black communities we were raised in, where men and women stuck it out together (at least on surface appearance), while our new generations break up over facebook???
Is BLACK LOVE really so hard to find? After discussing this issue with a few of my girlfriends, I discovered that the answer to this question is YES. I’ll share with you a couple of their reasons as to why BLACK LOVE seems to elude their grasp.
The Call of Duty Sharp Shooter – These are the usual playboys always trying to run game. To them women are like a military mission, “operation booty call”, in which their only goal is to capture the flag (a.k.a. the draws in my Martin Voice). You know the ones ladies, their phones stay on vibrate and password protected, they have multiple facebook profiles, they refuse to allow you access to their email account, they always prefer a night in, and the list goes on. This is until you hit them with the X-Box Red Ring of Death and tell them that their mission has been compromised and that they should exit immediately.
Mr. Twinkle Toes
Guy: What are you doing?
Girl: Nothing, thinking about grabbing something to eat.
Guy: Yea, I’m hungry too.
Girl: Yea, I need to figure something out.
Guy: ….Uh uh.
This is the dude that starts off as a good friend. He is professional, focused and has the swagger to match. You exchange emails, texts and a few phone calls, but nothing more. Why you ask…because he’s afraid to make a move. Fear of rejection maybe? Possibly, but if a woman is giving you every indication that she is hungry for your companionship, then why leave her fasting? These are the guys who tag along hoping that something will magically happen, instead of aligning themselves with someone who could possibly be their queen and declaring CHECK MATE.
Mr. A Little Too Late – We’ve all had one of these. The one who we loved more than a fat kid loves cake, but ended up breaking our hearts because he wasn’t ready for a true commitment. These are the guys who realize weeks or maybe even months later, that since they left you their stock has plummeted faster than the Cleveland Cavaliers without Lebron. They usually call or text randomly to gain insight into what’s going on in your life or to tell you how much they miss you and will do anything to get you back. Who wouldn’t want a man to grovel at their feet? But by this time you have already moved on mentally and emotionally. That door has been closed, locked and bolted.
These are just a few examples of why Black Love appears so elusive, but this is definitely a story that is to be continued.
Keep it Real Family…
Posted By: Southern Comfort
Once Upon a Time: I dated a friend of 11 years. When I say “dated", I mean we had long, uninhibited, Freaky-Friday sex. Needless to say, the friendship is over, but she calls occasionally for "Freaky Fridays"......I no longer oblige.
ReplyDeleteFast Forward to the Present> > >>> I met a young woman at the gym a few days ago, and she wanted me to help her work out. I helped. We exchanged numbers. Two days later we exchanged love-“grrr” faces-"Sabotaged- Saturdays." She called at 7:30am this morning just to say "hello", and I'm sure I'll never answer her calls again. I continued to ask myself was I Predator or Prey...I thrive in Double Consciousness- not taking anything away from Mr. Dubois.
So I've started a new plan. If the attraction is looming, I'll hold off as long as possible. If I've got to taste her lips because her words are so sweet, I'll just lick my own-I hope she notes this action after a few times. So where does this leave me -you ask?.....Attempting to maintain a real friendship, without pounding her insides-out, or picking her up and sitting her on my face every time we see each other.
I truly believe this woman is my equal. So what if I appear to fall back? She shouldn't be angry that will not push for more. I think she should appreciate this mature man's new actions, which are firmly based in life experiences.
If all the great “players” join the same team, then we don’t have good competition. Great players "play" on the same team (yes I mean sex) a few times a year (All-Star, Olympics, etc.) and that’s it. Upon retirement, they spend all of their time together as GREAT friends. Michael Jordan said, “Why would I ask Larry Bird and Magic to play on the same team as me?” Mike, I concur.
-Mr. T.W. Toes (Aries Man)
@ Mr. T.W. Toes, Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteIt seems that you were once a sharp shooter who failed to complete your mission as directed. Kat Williams said it best: “Don’t mess with people doing the same things they were doing last year.” If you’ve been having Freaky Fridays for eleven years and you ain’t upgraded to a Thong Tuesday or given that individual “Franchise” status then something is seriously wrong. Maybe your guns were ill-equipped or you ran out of ammunition to complete the war. Hey, it happens.
You appear to be the type to stick around long enough to feed and then once your appetite is satisfied you move on to the next one. Sooo, we will call you Mr. One Hit Wonder, cause your “here today and gone tomorrow.”
That is the problem...if the attraction is looming then make your next move your best move. Michael Jordan didn’t wait around for his teammates to win him a championship; he grabbed that rock and took it to the hole as necessary. Sitting in wait will only cause competition, if she is truly your equal then why is competition even on the table. “Things do no pass for what they are, but for what they seem. Most things are judged by their jackets.” – Baltasar Gracian. Sometimes playing the friend card, will get you the friend card. I’m just saying.
Keep it real family…
A past Sharp Shooter…of course. If you are in the war and don’t plan on killing anything, then why go to war? That time has departed, and now I tread lightly….aka T.W. Toes.
ReplyDeleteI would never attempt to upgrade from the 11 years of “Freaky Fridays” because that involved additional work. She had her focus at home, and I had my eye glued to the sights of my weapon…remember I was a sharp shooter?
Thanks for allowing me to share and reminisce, although I don’t like being called “Mr. One Hit Wonder.” I’d prefer “Mr. Special Delivery”- on time, at the right time, all the time. Throw the box away after the package is opened, and hide me in your bottom drawer so that he never finds out.
-Mr. T.W. Toes (Aries Man)
I have experienced Mr. Twinkle Toes and i had to stand my ground and leave him alone because I refuse to chase a man because i know i'm a catch... emphasis on "catch"..i am a strong believer in allowing a man to be a man and pursue me..and i believe that women truly run into trouble when they reverse this role (without the proper skill)
ReplyDeleteI have no problem allowing a man to be hunter because i don't mind being caught.