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| "My girl said I should sue my barber. She's trippin like my edge aint fresh. Do you think I can get waves?" |
Who does Belvedere want to sue?
I wanna sue the very first boy who handed me a "do you like me yes or no" note. I checked yes and he knew he wasnt ready for a commitment. He missed 2 lunch dates and failed to give me his french fries on Friday. He caused so much emotional anguish I didnt ride my bike for 3 days...and then LeeJohn passed me a note and it was on to the next one.
I wanna sue DISNEY for selling me the dreams of fairy tales & making me believe everyone lives happily ever after. What Disney failed to consider was that people like Alicia Keys & Gabrielle Union will court your man & snatch him up while your relationship is vulnerable. Imagine if Snow White's Prince charming met Superhead on his way to save her with his magical kiss. Snow White would still be sleeping and Prince Charming would be laid out with his kids somewhere in a napkin.
I wanna sue Myspace Tom for allowing his social network to fall off so quickly. It is because of this that Facebook has become regular stomping grounds for coonery and ignant comments. When I signed up for Facebook, it was a place for college students around the country to connect. Then it was opened up to everyone 18 and older. Then it was opened up to EVERYONE. I experience emotional distress caused by logging on to see how Cocoa Itookyourman Jones is upset that Potpurri SmellsLikeStrawberries Brown wont stop playing on her phone.Who does Southern Comfort want to sue?
I wanna sue the DC METRO for all the back-pay they owe me. No one warned me when I swiped my Smartrip Card at the Greenbelt Station heading to Friendship Heights that it would cost me the equivalent of a Junior Bacon Cheeseburger Value Meal from Wendy’s with a Chocolate Frosty on the side, just going one-way. Someone could have given me a heads up that I would constantly be late for work because some tourist decides to try the metro during rush hour and gets motion sickness causing the trains to be delayed, only to leave me stuck on the one train that doesn’t have AC, next to the person who wants to cough without covering their mouth, while trying to navigate a place to hold on to because Jonathan wants to lean his entire body on the pole while reading his Kindle.
I would also like to sue all HBCU’s for promising me a top of the line education from some of the most prestigious higher learning institutions in the land. What they failed to share was that the majority of the administration is made up of old frat brothas, relatives, and friends of the family, who lack the ability to change, have a good attitude, or answer the simplest of questions. They could have sent a letter or something informing me that I would never receive my financial aid on time; that phone calls, voicemails, and faxes don’t get answered or checked; or that the first person I go to that should be able to help me with my problem will most likely not be able to help me. I’m just saying…I may have at least applied to some other institutions as a back-up.
We're here to give the people what they want. If you could sue anyone who would you sue? Would you join with Belvedere and/or Southern Comfort in their cases?
Can I sue Belvedere and Southern Comfort for posting this picture of me without my permission?
ReplyDeleteThis was truly a "bad hair day," and the humidity affected my hair line. I can do all things through Rogaine who strengthens me.
-Mr. Six Head
@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteWelcome!
Mr. Six Head, I'd like to apologize on behalf of myself and Southern Comfort for any kind of embarrassment you might have suffered as a result of us posting your photo.
I'd also like to advise you to get new friends and a new circle. There is no reason this photo should ever have been taken before the Rogaine ran its course. Bad Hair Day? Nah son, looks like you were having a bad hair YEAR! Ok I'm done, I just couldnt resist. LOL
Initially I was pleased that you understood my pain....then I continued to read the rest of your post.
ReplyDeleteI'd like to apologize to the readers for the picture that you posted of yourself. Its okay to want to fit into a group sometimes (i.e. my caesar cut, that is worn by most men...but I know I shouldn't) although you may not truly fit into that group...but hey, we all try sometimes. It's apparent that the other three ladies of your crew enjoy some beauty that you are striving to achieve. Of course, my assumption is driven solely by “body pictures” of you-all, and the picture of what seems to be an ostrich or flamingo with one leg arched at an unpleasing angle. I guess some smart member of the crew decided to cut everyone’s head off, to make up for the shortcomings of one member (i.e. The Ostrich Lady)-Large Flightless African-“Bird” that avoids unpleasant situations by refusing to acknowledge that they exist…..hmmmmm.
-Mr. Six Head (Hide your kids; Hide your flamingos and ostriches, because I’m raping errrrbody!)
Well Mr. Six Head, it appears you have allowed my comments to get under your skin. I would apologize but well I'm not sorry. I see you snapping in a z formation. You see Mr. Six Head, I'm not going to delve into a game of back & forth name-calling with you because I know better. I too would like to apologize to the readers of TWW for what follows.
ReplyDeleteResolved. Since you know so many "apparent" things about Belvedere, allow her to tell you a few things about you.
1. You are corny. How does Belvedere know this? Because you are an adult who has resorted to name calling. Apparently you thought doing so was ok. Your attempt at comedy is an EPIC fail. You lack the ability, tact & "cool factor" required to make your words funny. You're worse than Wayne Brady. "Is Belvedere gonna have to slap a bish??" Since you're corny as hell you cant satisfy the women in your life so you resort to depricating on strangers. You can't make her laugh. You can't make your pipe laying sessions enjoyable. She doesn't smile when you enter a room.
2. You have problems deeper than Belvedere is trained to handle. You need a couch thats set up across from someone you refer to as "Doctor." Here are just a few solutions to common issues men like you face: Cant get it up? Viagra. Cant make her laugh? Kevin Hart's "Seriously Funny" was pretty funny. Can't make her CUM-plete you? Don't worry she's probably already helped herself to a new plumber.
3. You are one of those guys that yells obscenities at a woman after she turns you down. How does Belvedere know this? Because you never made a pass at her but she dissed you anyway and LOOK at how you reacted. Shame on you and your six heads!
4. You have terrible judgment. How does Belvedere know this? Your haircut combined with your elementary level name-calling skills illustrates that you know not what you are getting into. Ostrich lady? Thats the best you can do? Cmon son! I can't hold it against you because when you know better, you do better. Its obvious you don't know better and well your "doing" is sub-par.
Was your ex girlfriend slender? Were you teased as a child? Were you picked last for dodgeball? Are you still a virgin? Judging by your haircut, the answer to the above questions is a resounding YES!
I STILL suggest you find another barber. Better yet, grab a razor and go bald! In the mean time this case is dismissed and so is this class! You may now make your exit in dramatic cunt fashion.
******Shots Fired! C'mon Son...I'm one of the finest dudes you've come across in your little life. It’s okay though. I’ll give you a solid score of “9” for your comeback.
ReplyDeleteOnce I shave it off….can we go out for happy hour?
-Mr. Six
@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteAre you sure you wanna say "finest?" I've come across some real eye candy in my day, you MIGHT be in the top 25% cluster.
As for happy hour...Do I know you son? You DO KNOW this isnt e-harmony right? Did you REALLY just ask me out on my blog? You definitely are confident (to say the least).
@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteThe man of my dreams? Well wouldnt I have to wake up to go to happy hour with you?? I'd prefer the man of my reality. It appears you know more about Belvedere than you are letting on so why the anonymity? Afraid of rejection? This ostrich doesnt bite. She's kind to animal lovers.
Southern Comfort shall address your Chippie D below the belt reference on her own. Just know whatever actions she decides to take, it might not be pretty.
P.S. Go with the bald head, unless your head is shaped like Neyo or LL Cool J in which case hats are your best friends!
I have the razor to-my-head and I'm waiting on a response. "Yes" to happy hour, and I'll shave it all off (glistening baby!)...or "No" to happy hour, and I'll be happy-to-be-somewhat-nappy. Your choice, your gain or your loss.
ReplyDeleteDo you know me!?!?!? I'm the man of your dreams....willing to change what makes me unique, and alter my apperance to please you. Expressing my desires via public forum and not holding back. Willing to get you twisted (before 7 PM)for half the price and a good tip at DC rates....shoooooot I might be every woman's dream.
Southern Comfort also aided in the posting of my picture, so please inform her that her next blog will be clad in yellow tape and white chalk. -Mr. Six (The animal lover)