“He completes me.”
“He is my everything.”
“I don’t know what I would do without him.”
Why do so many women depend on the validation of a man to feel complete?? You can be independent in every other aspect of your life: top of your class, great job, your own place, nice car, sex and the city wardrobe, but without the seal of approval from your man, your life is incomplete. I think Kat Williams put it best when he said “it’s called SELF-esteem, it’s the esteem of your SELF you silly snitch.”
Happiness starts at home. So ladies, it’s time to clean house and make some much needed improvements. Let’s start at the top.
- Outside Looking In – stop thinking that every negative thing your friends tells you about your man or your relationship with your man is because their jealous. “They just want what I have.” “They don’t want to see me happy.” “What do they know, they are single.” NO, they are your FRIENDS. They were there before and will most likely be there after your man and your self-esteem are gone. Sometimes we get so caught up in our relationships that we fail to see the crazy/psychotic person we have become or our lack of the ability to use our common sense.
- For You I Will…- I’m not saying that change is a bad thing, but don’t allow yourself to give up your morals or standards to please a man. Because at the end of the day, that man most likely will not be willing to do the same for you. Please believe me…
- But I’m Different – Ladies, don’t think that you are this diamond in the ruff that will magically change a man (please refer to my previous article Brick House). If he left his previous girlfriend to be with you, don’t sit up on your pedestal and think that you are too good to have the same thing done to you. “Well, it’s just me, I’m not the person he needs me to be…” (STOP and seek help. You may be entering the first stages of denial/a domestic violence relationship).
- The Road Less Traveled - Please stop using what someone else has achieved to measure your progress. Just because Becky is 25, driving an all white Range, with a condo down town, does not imply that you are failure. Just because you are still in school working on your JD, living off of student loans, and shopping at Ross don’t make you a nobody. You don’t know what Becky may have had to do to get to where she is (her name might be Becky for a reason). As you climb the ladder of success, be sure it's leaning against the right building. Sometimes those minor detours seem to provide the most valuable lessons.
- It Takes Two – Ladies, don’t take it out on the female cause YOUR man cheated. You don’t know what sweet nothings he may have been whispering in baby girl ear to make her think that her love was a one in a million. It takes two to tango!! So, before you make a fool of yourself checking who you believe to be the “side chick,” you may want to check your man, because chances are that you may just be the “jump off”.
So ladies, if you can’t look yourself in the mirror and see the beauty that is woman, without the confirmation of a man, then maybe it’s time to take your house off the market for some much needed home improvements. A man should never complete you; he should only be a compliment to that which is beautiful, smart, happy, confident, independent and WOMAN!! If his name ain’t Jesus, then there is NO reason you should be changing who you are to meet his expectations.
And let the church say AMEN…
Keep It Real Family.
