Interview with a female cheater Volume 1 Chapter 1

Editor's note: Since life happened for my fellow bloggers, Belvedere is taking over TWW for the rest of the week. 

We hear so much about the male side of cheating but we don’t hear often enough about why women cheat. We tend to be a little better at it than men and we tend to have different reasons for cheating that include such things as emotional support & filling a void not occupied by her own spouse. 

Since This Woman's Work is all about dating from a woman's perspective, Belvedere recently interviewed a female cheater, read below for what she had to say.

  

Belvedere: I guess the obvious question on everyone's mind is why did you cheat?

Pink Panther: I thought about this question so many times and there is but one answer that has satisfied me: I was selfish. Everyone who cheats is selfish. I wasn’t happy but instead of walking away, I wanted to have my cake and eat it too. In my case, I had 2 whole cakes and I wanted them all to myself. I was selfish. Plain and simple.

Belvedere: How did the affair begin? Who initiated it?

Pink Panther: We worked together. I cant deny how attractive I thought he was. One day we were assigned to the same workgroup so I had to talk to him. Our group went to lunch together that same day and we hit it off then. We started just going to lunch together and then hanging out after work. Then we started talking on the phone and I started sneaking out. I wouldn’t say one person pushed it more, I think it came from us just enjoying each other's company.

Belvedere: I'm assuming it became sexual so tell me how long it took for ya'll to start humping like rabbits?

Pink Panther: At first I went to Marcus for emotional support. He was there for me to listen when my man wasn't. My guy was working two jobs at the time and he was under a lot of stress. Our relationship was vulnerable. His demeanor changed and he wasn’t as attentive as he used to be. Immature I know. Over time my friends and I had kinda grown apart so I really didn’t have any other people to confide in who I could trust. You know how sometimes you have things to say that you don’t even want your family to know? [Pause] It was like that.  About 6 months passed before we had sex. We "met" at least 3x a week.

Belvedere: Was it "good"?

Pink Panther: Ooooh girl it was amazing. His stamina and his girth are up there with Mr. Marcus. That’s what I called him. Marcus definitely made my toes curl every single time. Not that my guy wasn’t great, but he wasn’t Mr. Marcus in the bedroom either.

Belvedere: Were you worried that it would become a one night stand?

Pink Panther: Not really because we had become great friends and we worked together so I knew more opportunities would present themselves. Once we had our first sexual encounter, I stopped having sex with my boyfriend. Marcus & I always used protection, but the thought of having sex with 2 men just felt like it would make it a reality to me.  I always had excuses like I was tired or I had a headache or I didn’t feel like it. He pretended to understand but I think he knew. That made me feel terrible. But not terrible enough to stop. 

Belvedere: Tell me one of the lies you told to get out with Marcus.
Pink Panther:  He wanted to see me on a Saturday afternoon. My boo and I were off that day so we had to get creative. We told his sister to call me at 3pm and I made sure I was in the shower so I could tell my bf to answer my phone. His sister (my new best friend) called claiming she was stranded 30 minutes outside of town. I threw a fake silent fit that only my boo could see. She delivered her lines perfectly. Through him, she told me she was desperate and that no one else answered but she had to pick up her daughter before the daycare charged her late fees. That meant I had to leave immediately. She went on to beg me to come get her. I knew he would feel sorry for her so he recommended that I go and talk to him on my way there. I pretended I arrived to the daycare and told him I would call him back. We finished off the first round & I called my bf an hour later and told him I agreed to take her to Super Wal-Mart.  That got us more time for another round.

Belvedere: You had it all planned out huh?

Pink Panther: You don’t know the half of it. All of our stories were focused on maximizing the amount of time I could get away. When I got home 5 hours later with no groceries in tow I immediately started a rant about being sick of people using me. Instead of questioning where I had been he agreed with me. It was raining so that gave me an excuse to take a shower  as soon as I got home.  There was also a time when we went to a play together. I was in sweats so he bought a whole ensemble for me down to the shoes & fresh undies. His sister did my hair real fancy & I just messed it up & changed back into my sweats before I went home.

Belvedere: Juicy! Did you share your stories with your friends?

Pink Panther: I know this sounds crazy but I didn’t. As much fun as he and I had together, at the end of the day I felt shameful. I was mistreating a man whom I know loved & cared for me deeply but I just wasn't happy. I never let Marcus meet any of my friends but he introduced me to his family including his mother & father. When I felt like I couldn’t tell my friends, I grew ashamed of myself. I felt like a common whore. I started to try to find things wrong with Marcus. I felt stupid and I knew my girlfriends would tell me how good I had it at home. It was true. I had a great man at home and I was throwing it all away on a dumb fling.  I thought knowing about the affair would change their opinion of me and I didn’t want that to happen.

 Interlude.

Men lie. Women lie. 

Tune in tomorrow for Chapter 2. 

How do you all feel about female's who cheat? Are they any different from males who do the same thing? Are women really better at cheating than men? Do you know someone like Pink Panther? Give it to me straight.

Posted by Belvedere