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Answering the tough questions 101 for The Fellas Dummies 

Fellas, from the moment we meet a woman she is evaluating us to determine if we can get the goods if we are a fit partner. Unbeknown to some of us, women are trying to figure out what’s wrong with us which pile to place us in. There are three piles we could possibly land in after a few introductory conversations.

The first and worst is Hell. This is the “I will never EVER-EVER-EVER respond to another one of your text messages or answer one of your calls again!” pile. If you land in this pile, Fellas, bow out gracefully. Save what little face you have left.   

The second is just as damning as “Hell” in my opinion but some fools choose to hold out hope in Purgatory. This is the “I will respond to your text messages and entertain your conversation from time to time but never EVER-EVER-EVER go out or chill with you!” pile. If you land in his pile, Fellas, know when to give up hope, screw the Obama slogan, and cut your losses. You have a better chance of winning the lotto than going out with this woman. Save yourself the torture.

The third and final pile is the Gates of Heaven but don’t confuse activity with accomplishment. However, just because you made it to the gates doesn’t mean you will gain access. From here, with one bad move you can still end up in Hell or in Purgatory. Watch your step but know once at the gate the ball is in your court and if you are like me that is VERY GOOD NEWS.  

On to the Nuts and Bolts

Before you get the chance to whisper the sweet nothings in her ear, melt her with seductive eye contact, give her the belt-to-belt hug to let her know you are 100% Man – You have to be able to answer the tough questions. As I said before, from the jump women are trying to figure out which pile to put us in so pay close attention to the following lecture.

My format will be asking a question commonly asked by women then providing a “Dummie” answer – Hell answer – and a “Kool Kustomer” answer – which leads to the gates of Heaven. Now, let the questioning begin.

Class in Session

Question 1: Do you club often?

Dummie: Yea. My friends homeboys and I go a few times EVERY week. We know all the bouncers and bartenders so we get in free and drink ALL night.

Kool Kustomer: I go from time to time but I try not to go too often. I wouldn’t want to be known as that “Club Guy” so I keep my profile low. Don’t get me wrong. I like to go out but I pursue other venues in addition to going out to clubs.

Question 2: Why don’t you have a girlfriend?

Dummie: I’m just chillin right now but if something happens IT HAPPENS.

Kool Kustomer: At the point in life where I am now, I am very picky that being because my next girlfriend has to have the qualities of my potential wife. I don’t have wedding fever or anything but I am past the point in my life where I have girlfriends for the sake of having girlfriends.

Question 3: What happened with your last relationship?

Dummie: That b**** She was crazy. It was all good at the beginning, but she started tripping.

Kool Kustomer: I loved her but she was ready to take a step in the relationship that I wasn’t ready to take. Though I loved her, I started questioning whether she was the woman I should be with forever. Finally, I broke things off with her when the pressure she was putting on me became too much to bear. We are still great friends. If nothing else, I am glad that I am single so I can get the opportunity to get to know you.

Question 4: Are you gay?

 Dummie: Yea, I am gay. No, I am joking. Of course I am not gay.

 Kool Kustomer: No. I guess in 2010 that is a question you have to ask, huh?

Question 5: Where do you see yourself 5 years from now?

Dummie: Making moves like Diddy. I will be changing the game.

Kool Kustomer: I can see myself with a special lady in my life. I plan to continue to move up where I work. Also, I can see myself working towards an advanced degree at night and possibly some consulting on the side, as well.

Question 6: How would you feel if your woman made more money than you?

Dummie: That would be fine with me. Her money would come to me so I wouldn’t have any issues.

Kool Kustomer: I am not going to be in competition with my significant other. We will be partners and help each other to be better. I will be her biggest cheerleader in all of her success as she will be for me in my success.

Epilogue

The average man isn’t a Dummie, in my opinion, and the average woman doesn’t want a Kool Kustomer. All good things come with balance, they say, but if the objective is to get to the promise land gates of Heaven then why not let Kool Kustomer be your Moses? Thoughts and additional questions? Holla back, Youngin’.

Class Dismissed

*Disclaimer* - The opinions listed are from the author. Results can’t be guaranteed because other factors are in play besides how you answer questions. Including but not limited to looks, vibe, compatibility, smell or lack there of positive smell, teeth or lack there of – which are never to be underestimated.

Answering the tough questions 102 for The Fellas Dummies – Preview

(Questions women ask that piss men off)

Question 1: What are we doing? Define our relationship?

Question 2: Why don’t we talk anymore?

 Question 3: Which [fill in the blank] (dress/shirt/shoes/skirt/sweater/jacket/purse/hat/scarf/poncho) should I wear?

Question 4: Why do you always have to watch the game?

Question 5: Why haven’t you confirmed our relationship on facebook yet?

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Posted by Kool Kustomer