I Want The Money, Cars, Clothes … The Hoes.

OK. No this is not a post lamenting on the negative message behind Drake’s track, “Successful.” And no, I don’t want the money, cars, clothes (wait, actually I do want clothes… lots of clothes!), and hoes… this post is about women’s desire to “have it all, “what exactly “it all” is, and what we women give up in the process of attaining “it all.”

I’ve always believed having it all included having a successful career, a husband, kids, a nice house, and annual vacations to exotic locales. I’ve grown up with the conception that I’d have anything and everything I desired when I got older. I had my mother and her girlfriends as examples after all, and they had all of the things that I’ve always envisioned made up a complete life; careers, husbands, good kids, and nice houses. It’s only since I’ve grown older that I’ve realized that there are many sacrifices and compromises made in the effort to attain “it all.”

Women are often forced to choose between advancing in their careers and having children. If they do choose to do both, Grandparents or Nannies often take over the role traditionally played by mothers. They miss dinners, practices, meetings with teachers, and games, in their efforts to climb the corporate ladder. If working mothers choose to be with their children instead of working those late nights and weekends they will inevitably hit the glass ceiling that prevents so many women from advancing past positions as mid-level managers in corporations to obtain positions as heads of entire departments.

And what about women’s relationships with their spouses. I attend graduate school and almost every female professor at my school is divorced. Some have experienced multiple failed marriages. It seems as though having a successful career is not conducive to having a successful relationship.

Looking at my own generation, I can think of only 3 friends that are currently in healthy, happy relationships. That’s 3 women out of maybe 20 or so that I keep in regular contact with. A good number of my girlfriends say they don’t desire either a husband or children or both, and sometimes I feel as though I shouldn’t desire those things either if I’m going to achieve success in my chosen career.

Anyhow, all of my rambling leads to a few questions for you guys… Basically I’m wondering if a) what exactly is your definition of having everything and b) do you all think a woman can ever truly have everything?

Posted by Bourgeois