Many of us been in the situation where we felt like our love and commitment weren’t being reciprocated. At first everything was cool but then something started to feel different. His kisses weren’t as soft. Her willingness to spend time with you declined. He became more shady than a Florida palm tree. She became more questionable than a free seat on the metro next to a man having a conversation with himself.Pull up a chair.
1. Flipping 101. Have you ever been in an argument and walked away disappointed in yourself? Have you ever asked him a question and you end up questioning yourself? Have you ever started a series of questions and before you know it he's giving you the 3rd degree? Wondering how this happened? *This* ladies and gentlemen is the result of “flipping the situation 101.” It is a talent many cheaters and "smooth operators" possess as a deflector from their f*ck ups. They turn the situation to play on your insecurities with below the belt comments that make you question your reasons for questioning them. Either way, you walk away from confrontations without answers and unable to shake your suspicions. Need an example? Belvedere is here to help.
Scene: Guys phone vibrates at 1am. Girl is laying next to him in bed and is awakened by the vibrations.
Her: Who is that calling your phone at 1am?
Him: Thats nobody baby. I didnt answer because its a nobody. You're the only somebody that matters.
*soft kisses*
Her: *Forgets about the phone calls and returns to dreamland*
If women could master flipping a situation 101, straddling and crying at the drop of a hat, we could assume our rightful place as rulers of the free world. Inception.
2. Set boundaries and stick to them. In your first convo he says he doesnt like kissing. He says he's not romantic and he doesnt celebrate Valentine's Day. Women make the mistake of thinking we can change this. We can't. The truth is that he can be Romeo and that he has celebrated Valentine's day every year but he has decided he doesnt want that type of relationship with you. Men exercise their right to have reservations about what they are willing to do. What does this mean for women? When St. Valentine sends cupid our way on February 14 our gift basket is empty. Better yet, when he doesnt plan anything special on V-Day we dare not complain. Why? When we complain, he reminds us of the convo when he told us he didnt celebrate V-Day. When her friends ask what she got she responds "we dont celebrate Valentine's Day." Women need to do the same thing. If you dont spread em on the first date, tell him that and stick to your rules. Make your boundaries clear so there is no room for discussion or persuasion. If he doesnt respond accordingly strap up your combat boots and kick his a$$ to the curb.
3. Categorize people.We all put people into categories without thinking. We look at others to determine things like: male/female; black/white/brown/gray; attractive/unattractive/Jesus hates your parents; etc. I regret to admit men are better at this than women. Although we have mastered what it means to put men in the "friend" category, we have not mastered much else. Men place women in categories to determine how they will treat us. In a perfect world all men would respect all women, but we dont live in a perfect world. We live in a world where a preacher wants to burn Korans. I digress. They characterize us as heauxxs, smuts, real women and then theres the coveted "wifey material" label. If he has decided you are nothing more than a heauxx you will be treated as such. The same goes for the other labels. If we developed more labels for men, we could save ourselves a lot more heart ache.
(Insert critical thinking questions and a witty ending)
Your thoughts? Belvedere is listening.
