There is always the necessity to discover new sources and outlets of satisfaction. Due to one’s inability to contain these inner wants many people sustain these needs through infidelity. While we have an excellent relationship at home, we cheat just to “verify” that fact or we cheat to make sure that we got the best product on the market. Belvedere’s article “Interview With a Female Cheater,” showcases that at the end of the day a woman is just as capable as a man to get what she wants when and how she wants it.
After reading Belvedere’s article it caused me to take a moment and ask myself…what is it that people get out of cheating besides their own selfish fulfillment. I even had one of my girlfriends provide me with her 5 rules to remember if you want to be a successful cheater:
1. Don’t cheat in the inner circle.
2. Never get too comfortable.
3. Take time away from cheating, so that he never suspects a thing.
4. Always keep a ni**a, a man, and a backup plan.
5. Make it worthwhile, so if you ever get caught you have no regrets.
But at the end of the day, what did all of this mean? Why Cheat? Why not just be single and free to spread your wings? Why risk the chance of getting caught and causing that “good girl/guy” to turn bad?
But after talking to a close friend, I was given another outlook on the necessity of cheating. It was simply put in the form of a question…
“Does cheating help or hurt, by opening your eyes to what you really have at home?”
Is it possible that cheating can help one realize that there’s no place like home OR could cheating be the straw that breaks the camel’s back by showing you that home is not where the heart is??
I'm all about Black Love...so why risk it all??? I've always lived by the 80-20 Rule. Never sacrifice your 80% at home for 20% in the street. So, what do you think TWW followers...is cheating a necessity??
Sharing is Caring…Keep It Real Family.
Posted By: Southern Comfort
I'd like to take a moment of your time Southern Comfort....and acknowledge your wonderful ability to be honest. As a young man who typically (doesn’t give a sh!t about a woman’s feelings) enjoys dating frequently and experiencing the pleasures of being (a horny, successful black male in D.C.) single, I often meet woman-cheaters. Now…if you ask them, they’ll tell you that hubby is busy at work, and never shows any affection. Ironically enough, I’m not showing much affection either! We meet for late night rendezvous, which result in (sticky -icky) sex that satisfies urges, conversations about improving relationships at home, and cunnilingus-kamasutra.
ReplyDeleteNow I’ve never been one to put people down because, WE all make mistakes. I’m not positive if any of my past female partners cheated, and honestly I don’t care to know. I am sure that they should have cheated based on the way I’ve treated them, but again…I really don’t care.
I am a firm believer in S. Comforts assessment that cheaters are just plain selfish, and I’m really glad that she included female cheaters in that statement. Women have always claimed that they cheat based on a lack of emotional support, and that they put up with a man’s shortcomings and mistakes (small penis), because he has “potential”. I’m not just picking-nits :-), when I say that “I’m tired of women having an excuse for cheating!” So from now on, when someone asks “why did you cheat?”, I’ll respond with something like this: “she just didn’t love me the way that I loved her…...she paid the bills, provided for the home, worked 12 hours a day, visited my family on weekends, cut the grass, washed the cars, planted a pear tree and cooked the partridge. In the end, she never cuddled with me at night and told me that she loved me…so I needed to get the attention elsewhere.”
Chuck’em -aka- T.W. Toes -aka- Mr. 3 Piece Special –aka- Mr. Certificate of Completion
I may not know it all, but I hold this to be true....
ReplyDeleteLove is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
I Cor. 13:4-7
@ Chuck’em
ReplyDeleteThe phrase “I don’t care,” seems to be a recurring theme for you. Is it because you’re afraid of giving your all to one person for fear you won’t receive the same thing in return. Or maybe it’s because the one person that causes your heart to pulse is unavailable or out of reach. It appears that you have serious commitment issues. I mean the fact that you could openly admit to treating your previous female counterparts with less respect than I’m pretty sure they deserved speaks directly to your character as a man. Cheating is not something that should be boasted about or taken lightly as a game of checkers. People can and do get hurt by this bitchassedness on a daily basis. Maybe your cheating is spawned by some deep insecurity that instills the “get them before they have a chance to get me” mentality in you. Whatever it is…you need help.
Males and Females both cheat…this is TRUE. But the way they each go about it is different. A man will cheat with anything because he is simply trying to satisfy a petty sexual need. I mean how many dudes have slipped up and gotten a chick pregnant that wasn’t close to wifey material?? A woman on the other hand is not going to willingly jump into any bed that has an opening. She will most likely turn to that dude who has been there through it all, her good friend, confidant, someone who has the potential of being more than just a booty call. As emotional creatures, we aren’t just looking for a quick fix. A woman, who cheats, is probably pushed to do so by the lack of emotional and physical satisfaction she is getting at home, so why would she step outside that home only to get the same lack thereof in return?
My whole point is, if you’re in a relationship commit to it. And if your current situation is not worth fighting for then don’t be afraid to throw in the towel. All in all, relationships take work. No one can admit to being perfect, but we should all at least strive to be.
-Ms. Haynesworth
“I thought you were the one I trusted, but who ever knew that you would spread like mustard?!”
ReplyDelete-Biggie
A conversation between me and my father before I left for college (The REAL HU):
Rake Sr. –aka- Mr. Charlie Wonder: “Once another man eats from your bowl of oatmeal, the oatmeal will NEVER taste the same regardless of what you do to it.”
Rake Jr. –aka- Mr. Lova Lova: “But what if I never find out that someone ate from my bowl?”
Rake Sr. –aka- Mr. Charlie Wonder: “Believe me son, once that bowl gets dipped into by two different spoons, it’s easy to tell that a little bit is missing from your bowl.”
-Mr. Rake -aka- The show ain't over because we always start late.