Homie #1: (Directing his question to me) Bro, out of all the girls you’ve come in contact with up to now; I mean girls you’ve hollered at, girls you’ve talked to, girls you’ve hooked up with, and girls who ended up becoming your girlfriend. Out of all of these girls, how many would you say was a “Woman?”
I sat there for a minute. At first, I wondered why he would change the tune of our conversation from exchanging War Stories to talking about how many “Women” we’ve come in contact with.
You would have to know Homie #1 to understand why he would move such a promising conversation down this particular road.
To give you some background, #1 recently got out of a four-year relationship with a woman he was with since his sophomore year of college. About a year to six months before the break-up, more than likely even before that, #1’s lady had the loud sounds of wedding bells constantly ringing in her ears and let’s just say she was not shy about slipping in “when are we going to take the next step?” whenever there was an opening.
After his lady made an attempt to muscle him into marriage counseling, #1 finally reached his breaking point. He told his lady he would never marry her and there would be no need for them to undergo marriage counseling. Though he didn’t mean to be harsh and he made that statement out of frustration, she never could forgive him and the relationship ultimately slowly imploded.
When #1 officially became single, he quickly began to make up for all the ladies he missed out on during the course of his relationship. However, the joy of bachelorhood lasted only a short time for him. It was quickly replaced by the pain of knowing that he let a good one get away and the uncertainty of not knowing when the next woman of that caliber would present herself.
As I sat and spaced out, #1 realized that I was treating his question rhetorically so he directed his question to Homie #2.
#1: (Directing his question to Homie #2) Bro, out of all the girls you’ve come into contact with, “How many would you say was a “Woman?”
#2: (Responding to #1) Well… What’s your definition of “A Woman?”
#1: A woman is a girl who can make your life better. She enhances your existence.
#2: You remember Keisha*? Keisha* was “A Woman.”
#1: Yea, Keisha* was “A Woman.” I remember when I visited you for Memorial Day weekend and every morning Keisha* cooked breakfast for both of us. Not just you but both of us. You’ve had other girls who would look at me and not even speak first thing in the morning but Keisha* cooked breakfast for the Homie. What happened to Keisha*, Bro?
#2: (Directing a question to me) Kool Kustomer, you never got a chance to meet Keisha*, did you? No, you’ve never met her. (Then he answered #2) Keisha was smart, supportive, and thoughtful. She always did the little things too but, in the end, she was not fine enough. (Directing a question to #1) What’s happened to your lady?
#1: (Responding to #2) Honestly Bro, my lady had been “A Woman” since she was 19. I am sad to say that I wasn’t ready to have the type of woman when she was in my life. But now that I’ve lost her, I realize that my life would be much better if she was still a part of me. (To me) Kool, are you ready to talk yet? You’ve been in deep thought for a while.
Me: (Speaking to both Homies) Honestly, I’ve had a lot of girls try to play the woman role but I didn’t want to take her as my woman for one of two reasons: 1) she was not fine enough and, 2) I wasn’t ready for “A Woman” in my life.
…Epilogue
Other characteristics of “A Woman”
• She has a life of her own. You can join her solar system but you don’t have to be the sun she revolves around.
• She is sexy without being trampy. Lady in the streets, Freak in the bed. Please don’t substitute the nouns.
• She does the little things to show she cares. Also, when she does the little things, she invests in herself and her man. A girl does something then expects payment or something of more value in return.
• She makes her man look good. She increases his stock value.
• She does not take any crap.
• She is Fine Enough. This depends on how the man looks. Yes, I said “A Woman” has to have looks. She has to be Fine Enough. If a man is with you and he believes he can get with a better looking woman than you... Sorry, but nine times out of 10, you won’t be able to keep him from cheating with better looking women or leaving you altogether.
Did I forget anything? What do you think of my characteristics of “A Woman?”
Keisha* is a fictitious name used to protect “A Woman.”
Posted by Kool Kustomer
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